So don't take my last post seriously. I was really confused, but I really have everything figured out now. I'm positive, I swear! I've been having a really good time. School and work has been kicking my butt, but things should be better (and busier!) from here on out. Exams are coming up soon, and so is summer, and so is my very first official date EVER! That's right, LJ, I have a date. It's on Monday, which is a weird day, but I'm seeing him tomorrow for a rave we're going to with friends. I really can't wait to see him, let alone dance with him! >///<
I'm just hoping he likes me and I don't make a complete fool of myself! Wish me luck! /crosses fingers
  • Current Music
    What Is Love? - EXO

NaNoWriMo is going SWIMMINGLY

We had a write in today in a cute little coffee shop with delicious lattes and good company. Took me forever to find them, though. But we had a total and complete geek out, which I have missed dearly. I love my dorm-mates and all, but it's hard to geek out with them. It was great just chatting about writing and TV and movies and all that fun stuff. I can't wait until next Wednesday!

My writing is doing okay, but my brain really wants to split up the POV into the two main characters, but I really don't want to do that... We'll see what happens. I still have no plot, all I know is that three out of four main characters die. Whoops.

We also had can art at school today! Basically we collected a shit ton of cans, then arranged them into a design, competing against the other classes. I think the seniors won, though, theirs was very good.

the sophomores and juniors also raided our hall TWICE last night. Basically they just ran around the dorms at ungodly hours, blowing whistles and banging on pots and pans. We were all very irate about this.

Anyway, my roommate is blaring sexy music and I'm very tired. It means bedtime, haha. Later~
  • Current Music
    Birthday Sex - Jeremiah

More NaNo Problems!

So right after I posted about not being able to write anything at all I stumbled across this old document I had of the continuation of this: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2934362/1/Cigarette_Smoke. I quickly finished it up, edited it, and posted it, delighted that I adored it as much as I did. Not that anyone will read it, of course. I REALLY need a new website to post fiction on.

But this throws a huge wrench in my NaNo plans. I'm really interested in Grisha's story, but he literally has no plot. Also, his death scene is already written. Do I write his life before? Or Eza's life after?

June, on the other hand, has a full plot and theme and everything. But I'm really not interested in him at all. Do I go the safe and boring route or the interesting and dangerous route?

I'm also afraid of ruining Grisha's story, to be honest. Rage.

Okay, good ranting time. These are really helping me puzzle some things out, which is really an improvement from the issues floating around in my head.
Thank you, LJ!

  • Current Mood
    confused confused

(no subject)

So maybe I won't be doing NaNoWriMo after all...
I don't know, I just started doing some writing exercises today and everything that came out was crap. I love writing so much, but everything that flows from these fingers is awful. And it isn't like I have anyone to rant to or get to beta me. Why should I even write, anyway, it isn't like anyone will ever read it!

I'm just feeling a little hopeless and a little helpless. In my suite, I'm the only one with a fucking head on her shoulders and I have to play mediator the whole time. I especially have to boost everyone's self esteem and quell their insecurities. Sure, I don't HAVE to, but what kind of person would I be if I didn't? Jeez.

I'm sorry, I'm just ranting here and all. I would just like to be able to muster up the self confidence to be able to write something that's worth it.
  • Current Music
    The Horror of Our Love - Ludo

Not Dead

So I'm still not dead. Just been busy with college and drama and whatnot.

I'm just stressing a little because of the fact that I'm an undecided major and everyone around me seems to know what they want to do with their lives. I have no idea! I like English, yes, and history and religion, but no idea of what I want to do. Oh, well. For now I just want to focus on National Novel Writing Month.

My idea for NaNo has been floating around in my head for a while. It came from a dream I had about a unit of artificial intelligence who gives up his heart for a man needing a heart replacement. It kind of developed into a story after that, but it hadn't developed well enough to actually been written out. I'm still nervous about it. It seems as though I have a long way to go in my writing, but it's hard to find readers who will give you real constructive criticism. I really need to find another website to post on, because everything serious I try to post on Fictionpress gets ignored. It seems as though that site if filled with thirteen year old girls looking for slash, and I hate labeling stories that way.

Anyway, I'll try my best for NaNo through the homework and suite drama, which I will explain later. I'm glad to be back, Livejournal, and so, so glad to be reading more of fran_fic's work again. ;)

Also, hi, Ryzz! <33
  • Current Music
    Judas - Lady GaGa


In honor of my re introduction to posting on Livejournal, I have posted the infamous Suzaku picture on my Tumblr. xD

Tumblr is hilarious, excpet when punk kids think they're cool on it...
Who am I kidding, I was one of those kids once.

  • Current Mood
    relaxed relaxed


Okay, so. It's been forever. Since I posted, anyway, I'm on LJ all the time. xD

This re recording of Obscure is so awesome, just saying.

I love Diru for so many reasons, but the top has to be the lyrics. Or his voice.

Random post for now, but I'm going to try to post more, haha.


Using only four words, tell me what you would say to me if we woke up in a jail together. Then copy and paste this into your own journal and see what responses you get.

  • Current Mood
    bouncy bouncy


Okay, so, it's not all that drastic. I'm just out of Chemistry! But into Algebra II. Lame. But back into Latin! School's good, but it's not what I'm talking about.

Any healthy relationship you have with a person must be mutual. It must be nutured and looked out for, but not smothered. Quite like a plant. If you force that plant to drink the water, if you take it out of the sun, if you touch it and bother it all the time, if you ignore it when it's obviously ailing, the plant will die.
I just had a friendship like that. It was great at first, but she's not too great at plants or relationships, so guess what happened? I went and died. It hurt really bad at first, but now I feel better than ever. I've gone to plant heaven, baby, and even though I may still see this person, she can't touch me.

Plant heaven is awesome! I can laugh now and love things, and all my awful, bitter hatred is ebbing. There's some left, which I suppose is all the better to tell people to not touch me and leave me alone, my dear. XD

OMGGG, and guess what? I hear they're (whoever they are) making a Hetalia movie, due to come out on the anniversary of D-Day. It has both the potential to be good and the potential to suck balls. We'll see. x)
  • Current Mood
    ecstatic ecstatic

A Resolution

I have my New Year's Resolution.
I will no longer be afraid. There is something I want, and a freedom that is attainable to me, and I will fight for it. If I am wrong, I don't care. I had that peace in my soul once, and I want it back. I'll do anything at this point to have it back. 
I know now that I can't go back to how it was. Things change and people change and I hate it. But I've changed, too, and it's time for me to adapt. 

Everything I've wanted to do and say in the past, I will do and say them this year. I'll let go and see what happens. I will not be ashamed, or afraid, or hesitant. I will take initiative.  
  • Current Mood
    cold cold